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I’d like to think of myself as immune to hype, but I’m not.  For several months, EA sports has been pimping the idea of a Muhammad Ali vs. Mike Tyson bout…obviously intending to draw some interest for their upcoming video game title – Fight Night Round 4.

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Well, I’m not sure the video game is going to give us any answers.  It came out today, and I picked it up.  Then in my first fight against a very evenly-skilled gamer (older brother), I was able to whip up on Tyson with none other than Tommy Morrison.  I guess the good folks at EA sports were too busy to include reality in their latest installment.

But instead of going into a rant about EA Sports and their destruction of sports simulation, I think I’d rather just stay focused on the intriguing question – who would win a fight between Ali and Tyson?

Research won’t do much good here, as eras are too tough to compare anyway.  I’ve seen plenty of Tyson and Ali fights, most of which I’ve revisited several times thanks to ESPN Classic (yes, I gave some props to ESPN for getting something right).

Obviously, Muhammad Ali was more of a true boxing warrior…often toying with his opponents until the later rounds.  And that was back when heavyweight fights went a ridiculous 15 rounds.  Of course, Mike Tyson was Ali’s polar opposite in that regard…as he became famous for disposing of his opponents early.

My guess is that with both fighters in their prime, Ali would have found a way to beat Tyson.  It’s worth noting that Ali never lost via knockout, despite facing heavy-handed rival Joe Frazier on 3 separate occasions.  It’s also worth noting that nobody in the sport has had the pure punching power of Mike Tyson in his prime, so who knows how Ali would have fared against The Baddest Man on the Planet.

So I’ll take Ali either in a decision or late-round KO, minus one mouth-sized chunk of an ear.  What do you think?

And if that doesn’t strike your interest, feel free to weigh in on these epic fantasy battles instead:

Mike Tyson vs. Tommy Morrison
Joe Frazier vs. Lennox Lewis
Rocky Balboa vs. Rocky Marciano
Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs. Ralph Macchio
Brigitte Nielsen vs. Talia Shire
George Foreman vs. The Bellagio Buffet
Paris Hilton vs. Takeru Kobayashi
Indiana Jones vs. Obi Wan Kenobi
T.J. Hooker vs. Captain James T. Kirk

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Federer On His Way

Roger Federer hasn’t even won this year’s French Open title, and already it seems he isn’t getting the credit he deserves for it.  He won’t have to play the reigning king of clay - Rafael Nadal, and now the other top seeds are out of the way as well (Djokovic, Murray, Roddick).  Some are saying it’s a cakewalk for Fed.

But let’s get real.  Since Rod Laver won all 4 slams in 1969, only 1 male player has completed the career Grand Slam…Andre Agassi.  That’s right, just one.  Not Borg, not Sampras…not McEnroe, Connors, Becker or anyone else.  Just Agassi.

So many tennis greats like Sampras never could quite conquer Roland Garros.  But make no mistake, it hasn’t been one surface that has stopped Federer…it has been one man.

Roger Federer HAS been dominant on clay…against everyone not named Rafa Nadal.  In fact, the last person besides Nadal to beat Federer at the French was Gustavo Kuerten in 2004…a player who has won the French Open 3 times in his career.

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Being dominant on clay is almost an oxymoron, as the equalizing surface usually yields unpredictable results.  Big serves mean very little in Paris, and conquering clay means grinding baseline rallies and a whole lot of running.  The French Open is generally the one grand slam of the year that produces more upsets than any other, with Nadal’s run at Roland Garros being the rarest of exceptions.  When Agassi won in 1999, he only had to go through 1 of the top 16-seeded players…and that happened to be in the 4th round against Carlos Moya.  But the lack of top-seeded opponents did nothing to make his feat any less amazing.

This is clay court tennis.  It’s grueling, it’s demanding, and extremely unpredictable.  And should Federer go on to win the one Grand Slam tournament that has eluded him so far, he deserves all the credit in the world.

That being said, I was truly disappointed when Rafa Nadal was knocked out of the tournament.  Tennis fans have been spoiled by the Nadal/Federer rivalry over the past couple of years, and no Slam seems complete without them squaring off for the title.

Even in defeat, Nadal came out looking like a champion.  Here’s what he had to say after his loss to Soderling – “This is not a tragedy, losing here in Paris.  It had to happen one day…I have to accept my defeat as I accepted my victories -with calm.”  LeBron James could take a lesson from him.

This may or may not be Federer’s last chance to complete the career Grand Slam, but it is undoubtedly the best opportunity he’ll ever have.  And he knows it.  After an impressive straight-set win against Frenchman Gael Monfils, expect him to take advantage and cap off one the greatest reigns the sport has ever seen.

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You Booze, You Lose

One of the most difficult decisions the Utah Jazz front office will face in the off-season is whether or not to go after Carlos Boozer, who plans to opt-out of his current contract.  And with the future of over half of the current Jazz roster up in the air in the form of player options, team options, and free agency…it’s just one of many tough decisions to be made.

After a tumultuous season filled with injuries and inconsistency, the Jazz seemed to take a step backwards…struggling down the stretch when they finally seemed to be getting healthy.  Instead of battling for the division and preparing for another playoff run, their lackluster performance earned them a #8 seed and a virtually impossible first-round match-up against the Lakers.

Complicating matters, Carlos Boozer has sent mixed signals about his intentions.  Earlier in the year, his departure seemed inevitable.  But after his team was dismantled in the LA series, he emphatically stated his desire to stay in Utah.  And perhaps more importantly, long-time Jazz coach Jerry Sloan seems to want him back in a Jazz uniform next year as well.

What to do?

It’s the most difficult contract situation there is for an NBA franchise.  And here’s how Boozer has made the choice even tougher for the Utah front office:

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- On paper, Boozer looks like a player that Utah can ill afford to lose.  He’s a legitimate 20 PPG-10 RPG threat with a versatile offensive repertoire, which has become a rarity in the NBA.  At his best, Carlos has the most complete offensive arsenal of any power forward in the league.  He has a solid mid-range jump shot, great skills with his back to the basket in the post, and the strength-quickness combo to score consistently in the paint.

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- But on the other hand, Boozer has yet to live up to his potential.  Even overlooking his injury history, there are significant flaws in his game and consistency.  More often than not, somebody that grabs 10+ rebounds per game is also known for top-notch defense…but that isn’t the case with Carlos.  While he can be a very physical defender at times, he doesn’t seem interested in doing so on a consistent basis.  The very skills that make him unstoppable on the offensive end simply aren’t utilized on defense.  Even though he’s never earned a negative reputation for it, he really has become a lazy defender.  He doesn’t body up, he doesn’t step out to defend pick-and-roll screens, and he doesn’t seem to give maximum effort until blocking out for a rebound.  And since Mehmet Okur is no defensive dynamo himself, it’s a deficiency that his team has never been able to make up for…especially in the post-season (see Lamar Odom’s recent 62% FG against Utah).
 
As hard as Boozer has worked to become an All-Star caliber player, I just don’t get the sense that he’s a winner.  Which is odd, because he seemed to be just the opposite as a member of Duke’s 2001 championship team.

Carlos came into the league with a reputation as a solid defender, but I’ve watched his effort fade as his offensive production increased.  When I watch his teammate, Deron Williams, I am constantly amazed at the amount of energy he plays with at all times…despite playing a massive amount of minutes.  Williams pushes the ball off of every rebound, even if only to back up and set up the half-court offense.  He works equally hard on defense, playing against some of the quickest guards in the league.  Deron has a particular knack for knowing when to look for his own offense, and when to defer to his teammates…not completely unlike John Stockton.

But with Boozer, the effort isn’t always there.  Hit or miss, he’ll take his shots.  And even though he mixes it up pretty well, he can also be content to take outside jumpers.  His defensive effort comes in spurts, but is never spectacular.

Maybe it’s unfair to be so critical of such a great player, but one of my pet peeves is watching a talented player that doesn’t utilize his skills on defense.  Boozer doesn’t defend well against screens, even though he thrives offensively in a pick-and-roll based system.  He is a strong, physical presence, yet has trouble keeping weaker players out of the post.

The general consensus is that Utah can afford to bring back either Carlos Boozer or Paul Millsap, but not both.  I certainly wouldn’t want to make that decision, because it sure is a tough one.  Millsap may never develop into an offensive force, as he still struggles in isolated post-up situations and his flat-footed jumper leaves something to be desired.  But at least with Millsap, you don’t ever have to worry about effort.

I’d like to think that Carlos Boozer has the desire to acknowledge his weaknesses, and become the championship player I know he could be.  But for that to happen, he’ll need to show us all something we haven’t seen from him before…relentless effort.

“Size doesn’t make any difference; heart is what makes a difference.” – Jerry Sloan

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It just wouldn’t be Philly if someone wasn’t crying about something.

It took the Eagles two years to get rid of injury-prone cornerback Lito Sheppard.  When the team signed Asante Samuel to upgrade their secondary, he immediately started bitching about his contract…and then eventually talked (and performed) his way out of town.  His effort was so poor that he even lost his job as a back-up to a less-talented Joselio Hanson.

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And now that he’s finally gone, I guess it’s time for Sheldon Brown to tap a keg of Whine-a-ken.

Brown, who was essentially given Lito Sheppard’s job, has gone public with his contract dispute.  Even with FOUR years still left on his deal, he has asked to be traded because the Eagles refuse to renegotiate.

That’s right, 4 years left on his contract.  At least when other players start their media meltdown, they are usually in the last year or two of a deal.  So this is certainly taking it up a notch.

Not that I have any illusions about the Eagles’ front office (or any other NFL office) being a magical universe where players are always treated fairly and can get bonus cash or free hash upon request.  It’s a cold-hearted business with greedy bastards on both sides.  But what in the world is Sheldon thinking?  Does he think that NFL teams are lined up waiting to add a whiny #2 cornerback and give him more than he’s worth?  Does he really think that going public with his complaints is the best way to tangle with the Eagles’ front office (e.g. - Duce Staley, Sheppard, T.O.)?

I’ve generally had no complaints about Sheldon’s performance on the field.  While he doesn’t really have the skill to cover elite receivers, for the most part he works hard on every play…and is pretty solid as a #2 CB.  And when he makes mistakes in coverage, he usually shakes it off and makes up for it on the next play.

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But after hearing his latest, I’m not so sure he’ll be the same player anymore.  And judging by some of his quotes, I have to assume he’s flipped his gourd and gone Tom Cruise-crazy.  Here are just a few of his recent gems:

“I’ve always been treated like the redheaded stepchild, ever since I was drafted.”

And I suppose most redheaded stepchildren are given a $7.5 million signing bonus as an allowance.

“If you traded your Pro Bowl player for a fifth-round pick, well, I’m pretty sure I can go out and get you that right now.” – referring to the deal made for Lito Sheppard

I think Sheldon forgot that he isn’t a Pro Bowl player.  If teams didn’t want to offer more than that for Lito, then why him?

“Everybody has the right to their opinion, but if you think it’s about the money, you’re crazy.”

Sure, it’s probably not about the money.  I bet he just wants some extra whirlpool time or a helping-hand hooker clause written into his contract.

When someone says it isn’t about the money…it’s about the money.

“It’s not like I’m trying to get near the top of the tier.  I want them to pay me somewhere in the middle of the pack.”

I must be confused…I thought it wasn’t about the money.

Good luck, Sheldon.  Hope it all works out for you.

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MLB Cares…

…about screwing their customers as much as humanly possible.

A TV blackout on Opening Day?  Are you kidding me?

I didn’t even want to watch the game, but decided to check it out during lunch anyway.  After all, it is Opening Day.

So I clicked over to ESPiN to see the Indians and the Rangers, only to find the dreaded blackout message.  WTF?

I know…nobody likes the TV blackout.  It’s a ridiculous way to punish local fans for not buying overpriced tickets 80 times a year.  As if paying for overly-elaborate stadiums with tax dollars wasn’t punishment enough.

So I guess I won’t be watching the game.  It probably is my fault.  I suppose the reasonable thing to do would have been to support my “local” team by DRIVING 600 EFFIN’ MILES to see the game in person.  And that thirst from a 10 hour drive…well, I could have quenched that sucker with a lukewarm $8 beer upon my arrival.  Everybody wins!

And people wonder why baseball is losing popularity.

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So thanks, Major League Baseball.  I know these are tough economic times for you…just like you mention every time some arrogant prick signs a multimillion dollar deal.  The truth is…I’d really like to help.  I’d like to spend $200 for the MLB Extra Innings TV package.  I’d like to waste $60 on a shitty MLB video game that was ruined by your bullshit licensing regulations.  I’d really like to spend $100 on a baseball jersey that looks stupid to wear anywhere else but the ballpark.

I really would like to help.  But unfortunately, I just invented a personal consumer double-douche restriction regulation that only allows me to give 20% of my earnings to corrupt douchebags that don’t deserve it.  And since I already pay taxes, that sort of leaves you out.  Sorry…hope you understand.

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