Straight Shooting

Well…shit.  The Eagles did it again.

Philadelphia Eagles 17, Washington Redskins 23

For the second straight week, they let a game slip away because of their inability to punch the ball in from the red zone.  The Eagles came out looking sharp against the Redskins, opening up a 14-0 lead in the first quarter.  After that, it was pretty much all Washington…as the Skins outscored Philly 23-3 the rest of the way.

After an efficient 12-play touchdown drive on the opening series, the Eagles’ struggled to put points on the board.  As usual, untimely miscues and dropped passes plagued Andy Reid’s offense…earning a loss that leaves them at the bottom of the NFL’s toughest division.

But it isn’t all bad news for the Iggles:
- At least the weather is still warm enough for the Eagles’ cheerleaders to bring out the cameltosis shorts.
- Rookie receiver DeSean Jackson learned how to properly carry the football all the way into the end zone.
- Andy Reid prefers to have heartbreaking losses take place at home…that way he won’t ever be too far away from a consolation cheese steak.
- With the Phillies advancing in the MLB post-season, an Eagles’ loss ensures that Philadelphia fans won’t have to go a full week without crying about something.
- When you’ve got Wesley Snipes’ stunt double (Correll Buckhalter) in the backfield, you always have a chance.

Speaking of choke-artists…

Fight for Your Right

As Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) continues to make its way into the mainstream, Elite XC had another prime-time night of mixed reviews this past weekend.  The sport that was once deemed too brutal for the masses landed on CBS for the second time on Saturday.

And once again, the major network tried to exploit the inexplicable popularity of Kimbo Slice…only to see the overrated internet sensation get knocked on his ass in about 14 seconds.

If you’re not familiar with Kimbo Slice, he’s a real-life street brawler that made his MMA debut not much more than a year ago.  That was about the same time that I started to pay attention to Elite XC, as a much needed alternative to the joke that professional boxing has become.  Watching a night of Mixed Martial Arts for free sure beats the hell out of paying 50 bucks to see two anorexic midgets dance around for 12 rounds.

But like most things, you have to take the good with the bad.

The Good:
- Elite XC fight night is usually filled with a full card of meaningful bouts.  Whether you know the names or not, the “undercard” fights normally provide plenty of entertainment.
- It’s like watching the movie Bloodsport, without the fake blood and shitty acting.
- MMA fights normally have a definitive winner, unlike boxing matches.  True, MMA bouts sometimes go to the scorecard…but the decision is rarely a surprise.
- Atttaatttaaattaaa catfight.  Yes, they let the girls fight too.  And much like a Hilton heiress, they really know how to swing.
- Gina Carano.

The Bad:
- Understandably, some of the fights don’t last very long.  With varied styles and full contact, you never know what to expect.
- Sometimes the hype makes it seem more like “professional” wrestling.  The sport has divided into a Vince McMahon-like hybrid, with UFC & Elite XC battling for market supremacy.
- Great fights are often overshadowed by bad ones.  This Saturday was a perfect example.  A back-and-forth championship match between Jake Shields and Paul Daley actually served as an undercard to the Kimbo Slice letdown.
- Every once in a while, a cauliflower ear can explode.

Overall, MMA is a solid alternative for those not too thrilled with the current state of pro boxing.  Hopefully, the pride of martial arts can keep the sport away from the Don King corruption that ruined boxing many years ago.

As Al Bundy would say – “Let’s Rock”.

** Additional Sunday Night Football note:  During the bye week, will somebody please teach Ben Recklessberger how to throw the damn ball before he gets hit?  There aren’t enough variations on the “pounded like Paris” punch line to cover 16 games of this shit!

I’ll apologize in advance for getting political on a sports site.  But I’m afraid it can’t be helped.  In recent months, it seems that more and more people are paying attention to politics.  Which, in theory, should be a good thing.  The only problem is, as a country, we’re spinning our wheels.

If you want to talk politics, you have 2 choices.  You can either seek out like-minded individuals to make you feel good about your own opinions.  Or, you can take on someone with an opposing view…and just piss everybody off.

If you want to have an honest discussion with someone about McCain, they will inevitably focus on the alleged evils of Obama.  And vice versa.

Even the 1^st Presidential debate itself was somewhat of a joke, albeit a fairly entertaining one.  It consisted of typical political circle-talk, with each candidate getting in their share of verbal jabs.  Obama doing his best to link McCain to the inadequacies of the Bush administration, and Mr. McCain repeatedly going to the “he doesn’t understand” defense…while refusing to look his opponent in the eye.

I found a satirical article from The Onion that says it better than I ever could.  It’s titled “60 Million People You’d Never Talk to Voting for Other Guy”.  Even though it was written in jest, unfortunately it pretty much hits the nail on the head.  Incredibly funny, but also incredibly sad.

The implied theme of the article mentioned above is that the people in our country are divided, inflexible, and incapable of entering an honest political discussion.  It’s the same syndrome that a parent in denial might possess with regards to a delinquent child.  “Not my boy, no not him.  He’s a little angel.  There’s no way that crack pipe belongs to him.”

So what are left with?  A political system that is terribly inefficient, and a lot of angry bastards.  We have a job opening for the most powerful position on the planet, and we’re interviewing 2 people.  Not that you can really compare a political campaign to an interview.  Usually in interviews, the focus is on relevant issues and a candidate’s background.  How strange would it be to go in to an interview, and do nothing but talk about how incompetent the other candidates are?  “Bob the Accountant does have plenty of experience, but I hear he blows interns in the broom closet.”

So maybe I don’t have much of a point, other than the incredible amount of disappointment I have.  Our government has put our nation in financial crisis, we’ve entered a war that nobody can agree on and seemingly has no end…and the only people with the power to fix all of it are just as stubborn and divided as the rest of the population.  As a nation, we have failed to embrace science and technology…and view flexibility and open-mindedness as some sort of weakness or character flaw.  Let me ask you this – when it’s 3am (the hour when all important decisions are apparently made) and you have a decision to make, would you want a know-it-all calling the shots…or someone with the ability to accept new information and come to a logical conclusion?

Don’t answer that…it’s hypothetical.  And I don’t want to hate anyone else today.  And if anybody is thinking “if you don’t like it, then leave”…well, have fun being a raging lunatic.

Oh, by the way…the National Debt is still running.  I mean really, what’s another $700 billion when you’re already on the hook for $9 trillion?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get a cash advance on my credit card…so that I can use it to pay off my credit card debt.  Thanks for reading and pretending to listen.

p.s.  I still think Kyle Orton sucks.

With a Monday Night shootout to remember in Week 2, it seems that the historic rivalry between the Dallas Cowboys and Philadelphia Eagles has officially been renewed.

Unfortunately, with great rivalry…comes great responsibility.  Or some bullspit like that.

It just so happened that I took up fellow blogger Morisato on a wager over that infamous Monday Night game.  Instead of betting cash or a six-pack, we bet blog posts.  Well, I lost…and this is post is my payment.

But before I start, let me just say that Morisato could have made this painful.  I could be writing an insincere blog about Terrell Owens and how great I think he is.  But instead, he took it easy on me…and chose a topic that wouldn’t make me sick to my stomach.

So this post is about the Top 10 Cowboys & Eagles Injuries from the last couple of decades.  Or at least my opinion of which injuries had the greatest impact on these 2 franchises.  If you need a reminder that football can be an absolutely brutal career to pursue, here it is:

10)  Rodney Peete, QB - Philadelphia
Injury:  Season-ending knee injury (1996)
Impact:  A playoff-caliber team was still intact after the Randall Cunningham era, and Rodney Peete moved into the starting role.  He was knocked out in Week 5 against, you guessed it, the Cowboys.  The team still limped into the playoffs, but the Eagles were shut out in the first round with Ty Detmer taking the snaps.

9)  Bobby Taylor, CB - Philadelphia
Injury:  Season-ending knee injury (1997)
Impact:  Just one year after a playoff appearance, cornerback Bobby Taylor missed half of the 1997 season…and the entire defense never recovered.  Philly finished with only 6 wins.

8)  Daryl Johnston, FB - Dallas
Injury:  Career-threatening neck injury
Impact:  The injury was serious enough to force Moose into retirement at the age of 33.  Emmitt Smith would see a slow and steady decline in his numbers after his departure.  Not coincidentally, it also marked the beginning of a Dallas playoff drought.

7)  Larry Allen, Tackle/Guard - Dallas
Injury:  Nagging ankle and shoulder problems (2002)
Impact:  With the powerful lineman absent for all of the 2002 season, Emmitt Smith failed to reach 1000 yards for the first time since his rookie season (1990).  Dallas quarterbacks were sacked an astounding 53 times.

6)  Terrell Owens, WR – Philadelphia
Injury:  Broken ankle in 2004, while still with the Philadelphia Eagles
Impact:  Oddly enough, the Eagles managed to reach the Super Bowl without their leading receiver.  He would return for the big show against the Patriots, though the Eagles would fall just short of an NFL title.  On paper, the injury had little effect on the team…but the controversy surrounding his return in the Super Bowl game ultimately led to his departure from Philly.  For what it’s worth, he played one hell of a game in Super Bowl XXXIX (aptly named after Andy Reid’s shirt size).

5)  Jay Novacek, TE - Dallas
Injury:  Recurring back problems
Impact:  The last game Novacek ever played was the Super Bowl win against the Steelers.  Back issues forced him into retirement, ending a brilliant career for one of the premiere tight ends in the game.  Quite simply, his absence turned a great team into a good team.

4)  Santa Claus - North Pole
Injury:  Pelted with snowballs in 1968
Impact:  So it wasn’t recent, but Eagles’ fans will never live this one down.  When little boys and girls wake up on Christmas morning in Philly, this is the reason they find a lump of colon coal in their stocking. 

3)  Donovan McNabb, QB - Philadelphia
Injury:  Torn knee ligament (2006)
Impact:  The Eagles went on without McNabb to make the playoffs, but his injury had an effect on 2 separate seasons.  The offense shifted to a more conservative passing attack, which wasn’t enough to get by the Saints in the playoffs.  However, the big impact occurred the following year…as McNabb struggled to find his form.  It wasn’t until the last 3 games that the offense started clicking, and by that time it was too late for a playoff run.

2)  Troy Aikman, QB - Dallas
Injury:  Concussion, concussion, concussion, and more concussions (last boot to the head in 2000)
Impact:  In each of the last 4 years of Aikman’s career, his production declined along with his health.  The drop-off was due in part to his health, but also the departure of so many other stars from the dynasty years.  Between 2000-2005, Dallas only reached the playoffs once…which resulted in a wild-card round loss to the Panthers.

1)  Michael Irvin, WR - Dallas
Injury:  Damage to spinal cord during a game against the Eagles at Veteran’s Stadium in 1999
Impact:  Irvin never played again, and was forced into retirement at the age of 33.  After 1999, Dallas was left without a 1000-yard receiver until the arrival of Terry Glenn.

Here’s to good health for both teams…and another great showdown for the Week 17 finale.

The only thing Andy Reid loves more than a solid all-you-can-eat buffet is his beloved Flea Flicker pass play.  And no matter how much pain and damage they both inflict on the hefty coach, good ole’ Andy just can’t seem to kick either habit.

Philadelphia Eagles 15, Pittsburgh Steelers 6 

Things were rolling well enough for the Eagles in the early going…right up until the point when they dialed up the dreaded bean flea flicker.  The play resulted in a sack for a loss, and left Donovan McNabb slightly hobbled…though he would remain in the game.

Then on the very next play, Brian Westbrook landed awkwardly on his own lineman and left the game with an ankle injury.  Fortunately, the Eagles finished off the drive with a touchdown pass to Correll Buckhalter…but Westbrook would not return to the game.

After that, it was the Philly defense that stepped up and earned a much-needed victory.  Ben Roethlisberger was pressured all day, receiving the kind of punishment that would make a rookie prisoner cringe.  Big Ben was sacked 8 times, and was hit virtually every time he dropped back to pass.

The Eagles had their own problems trying to move the football…especially without Westbrook.  Luckily, the kickers came to play (and don’t forget the long-snapper).  Punter Sav Rocca pinned the Steelers inside the 20-yard line three times, including one that led to a Roethlisberger sack in the end zone for a safety.

Clinging to a 6-point lead, David Akers provided the dagger in the 4th quarter by connecting on a 31-yard field goal.

Overall, it was a fairly ugly win…but a win nonetheless.  And with other NFC East teams holding steady, it was one that Philadelphia could ill afford to let slip away.

Elsewhere Around the NFL

Tavaris Jackson put on a headset and learned how to tote a clipboard while the Vikings beat the Panthers.  If only they would have put him there in the first place…

Speaking of shoddy quarterback play, did anyone else see the performance put on by Matt Schaub?  Granted, he was facing a fierce Titans’ defense…but that still doesn’t explain why his QB rating is looking more and more like George W.’s approval rating.

It took just 3 games for Chad Ocho Cinco to earn his new moniker…as he finally has over 85 total receiving yards on the season.  88 yards, to be exact.  Somewhere in Chad’s misguided melon, an elaborate and excessive end-zone celebration waits to be unleashed.

Who would you rather be right now – Kansas City head coach Herm Edwards, or NFL referee Ed Hochuli?

Diamond Douchebag

On Saturday, I flipped the channel to the Cubs game…only to hear Tim McCarver’s insane ramblings.  But this time, it was worse than usual.  Kosuke Fukudome was up to bat, and McCarver began talking about how he needed to “Americanize” his swing.  First of all, what a dipshit choice of words.  Forget political correctness, his comments were just plain ignorant.  What he was referring to is how Fukudome and some other lefty Japanese hitters take a stride towards first base as part of their swing.  Why the hell should he change his swing?  Has McCarver never heard of Ichiro Suzuki, who uses that very un-American step in his own swing?  Funny, he didn’t mention the former batting champ when trying to prove his point.  How convenient is that?

It’s just more proof that Tim McCarver is, and will always be, a complete dilweed.

Later this week:  Stay tuned for my pay-up post, a top 10 list of Cowboys & Eagles past injuries.

No Sunday Shots this week, since my Eagles play on Monday Night.  But I figured I would chime in with a pop quiz.  Here we go:

Why did Chad Johnson change his name to Ocho Cinco?

a) In Spanish, Ocho Cinco represents the total number of receiving yards he expects to get this season
b) Because he’s a dumbass, and doesn’t realize that the Spanish translation for 85 is actually “ochenta y cinco”
c) Because blonde mohawks, gold grillz, and excessive end zone celebrations weren’t giving him enough media attention anymore
d) Who the hell is Chad Johnson?

Since Tom Brady is done for the season, how would you rate Randy Moss’ value in fantasy football?

a) Still worth a first round pick
b) Among the 2nd tier of fantasy receivers
c) Slightly higher than Rex Grossman
d) About the same as a Vince Young bobblehead doll

What was the main reason that Denver was able to squeak out a controversial win against San Diego?

a) The 2 botched instant replay calls
b) Jay Cutler went back in time and stole John Elway’s mojo
c) Because Brandon Marshall has better lawyers than Steve Smith, and was able to get his suspension reduced in time for Week 2
d) The Broncos prayed harder than the Chargers at halftime, and God cares so much about the outcome of professional sporting events

The Green Bay Packers are 2-0, and the NY Jets are 1-1.  How could something like this happen?

a) Because Aaron Rodgers is a better quarterback than Brett Favre
b) Because Brett Favre just wants to make it more dramatic at the end of the season
c) Because football is a team game, and isn’t always just about the quarterback
d) It’s not Brett’s fault, they should have let him play in stylishly comfortable Wrangler jeans

Of the following people, who will be the first to get fired?

a) Lane Kiffin, Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders
b) Matt Millen, President and CEO of the Detroit Lions
c) Vince Young, the guy who lines up for the Titans where a real quarterback normally would
d) Whoever Bill Parcells decides is responsible for the Dolphins 0-2 start