Oddly Enough - MNF Edition
Nov 3rd, 2008 by shooterb
The next two days should be a gambler’s paradise, with a vast array of betting propositions to choose from…starting with the Monday Night Football game between the Steelers and Redskins. Here is a quick look at some of the odds:
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Washington favored against Pittsburgh by 2.5
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Over/under for the game is at 36.5 points
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Odds that Ben Recklessberger will eat more turf this evening than Martina Navratilova: 38%
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Odds that Big Ben will be on his back before Paris Hilton: 78% (odds tilted by the fact that Paris doesn’t wake up until noon Pacific time, and still might miss her date because of that whole confusing daylight savings thingy)
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Odds that Kordell Stewart will be somewhere watching the game with tears in his eyes, humming the song “What Might Have Been”: 97% (there is a 3% chance his cable has been disconnected due to a delinquent account)
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Odds that Tony Kornheiser will say something stupid during the broadcast and apologize for it afterwards: 79%
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Odds of Tony Kornholer trying to put the outcome of the game into some sort of overly-dramatic context that makes absolutely no sense: 94% (6% chance the sound equipment will fail during his soliloquy)
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Odds that people still won’t acknowledge the Redskins as a serious contender even with a lopsided victory: 64%
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Odds that Chris Berman’s interview with the Presidential candidates will provide any useful information: 2% (with 2% margin of error)
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When Chris Berman inevitably asks each candidate who they like in the football game:
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Odds that John McCain will show support for the Pittsburgh Steelers given his need for some extra votes in Pennsylvania: 99%
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Odds that Barack Obama will dodge the question by showing support for both teams: 99%
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Odds that at least one undecided moron will use the candidate’s answers from the Monday Night Football interview to make up his mind about the presidential election: Unfortunately, 100% chance of insane.
Are you ready for some football…with a slight hint of partisan presidential politics mixed in? (doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?)
This blog sponsored in part by: Shooter Downtown Casinos, Inc.
I was sure you were writing this in jest until I got to the end. Then I realized I decided who to vote for based on Berman’s interviews. Oh well, at least I didn’t do something stupid like flip a coin.
I’m heading to Las Vegas for a convention on Wednesday morning. Looks like most of your information is dead on. Got any more tidbits for later in the week? In fact, I’ll even give you my account number if you want to make a deposit so I can wager some $$ for you.
BTW, I picked Pittsburgh to win tonight 16-13. No really, I did. And I can prove it. 16-6 right now with 3:41 left in the third. And it’s under review.
So you were the undecided moron? Oops, what I meant to say is that the brief election eve Monday Night Football interview is probably the ideal criteria to base your presidential choice on.
Tell the truth, McCain talking about the Cardinals was the clincher…wasn’t it?
There is 3 extra bucks in your Vegas account. Break it into singles, and you know what to do. Say hi to Charmaine at Glitter Gulch for me. If you’re not familiar, it’s sort of like the minor leagues of Vegas strip clubs.
Hee hee . . . Charmaine. She was there last year, and hopefully still around. She’s not what she used to be however, and I broke the three singles in 50 cent pieces. Which is her new nickname, by the way; 50 cent piece.
Anyway, I’ll let you know how she’s doing. Thanks for the donation. That should get me through a couple nights.
It was only a matter of time before Gary Coleman got his chance in Pittsburgh. As you said Ben likes to eat grass. I’ve never been a big fan of Benny, don’t get me wrong I’d take 10 more years of Ben’s indecisiveness and interceptions in key situations over Slash being allowed to step foot on the practice squad.
They need to use the same strategy on Ben that they used on Dan Marino after his Achilles injury. Don Shula brought a scoreboard onto the field with 3 or 4 seconds on it. after the ball snapped he had to get rid of it right as the buzzer sounded or they shocked his left testicle…….well, something like that.
You get the idea, get rid of the fucking ball before you get killed. You are a big slow easy target of a white boy, get rid of the fucking ball.
On another note did you see this rendition of the Berman Obama interview?
Ricko…yep, that’s the right gal. But her original nickname was the slot machine. I’ll let you figure out where to deposit the coin.
Moving on…
Miracle, you can only blame the O-line so much…as you said, sometimes you just got to get rid of the fooking football. I swear that guy must like the rough stuff more than Marv Albert. Quit pump faking and throw the short pass, you masochistic bastard.
And how about that Gary Coleman stepping in? Impressive. Being a back up QB sure beats the hell out of security work and late-night infomercials.
Hmmmm . . slot machine. Damn, now that you mention it, I do remember her having only one arm.
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