Son of a Gun That’s a Bargain
Dec 1st, 2008 by shooterb
Here it is, your Ebay bargain of the week. I found it during my weekly shopping search for sheep-safe stun guns and wool softeners:
Description: Slightly used flesh-piercing pocket pistol. Fired only once.
Cost: As much as you can spare, will need the $$$ for high-priced lawyers.
Payment Options: Will accept check, cash, or courthouse parking coupons.
Shipping: Free of charge, available for pick-up in Evidence room C.
Seller: Plaxattack357
Shoot, you can’t beat a deal like that.
Fired only once and almost took a roundy right out of the sack without even aiming. I gotta have that thing.
I just bid $7.65
Stay out of it mofo’s
I guess he can be thankful that he put it in his pocket rather than stuffing it down the front of his pants like an undercover cop from a crappy 80’s TV show.
I got $7.65, do I hear an $8? Anybody give a measly $8 for this unregistered piece of sports history?
$7.66
I wonder if the wound was even bad enough to go to the hospital?
Really, it’s not like he was on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
He probably could have put a band aid on it in the shit house and gone back to binge drinking.
I guess it wasn’t bad enough to rush right to the hospital. He had a couple of hours of trying to figure his way out of trouble before getting medical help.
Since he went to the trouble of giving the hospital a fake name, he should have come up with a better story too. Like, - “Oops, I accidentally stabbed myself with a really small but sturdy perfectly round needle-shaped rod made of unbreakable space-age material from the planet Zirco. Yeah, that’s it. Nope, no gun wound here.”
Million to one shot, doc. Million to one…
$7.66? This ain’t the Price is Right, pony up bitches!
Too rich for my blood. Unless I sell my collection of 100 Todd Marinovich rookie cards. I’ll have to think about it.
I don’t blame you, I’d hold on to those Marinovich cards. Call me crazy, but I think he’s due for a comeback. At least his arm is well-rested and healthy, well…except for the needle track marks.
$8.00, payable in Enron Stock.
I’d go $8.17 but I’m saving up for the Auto Bailout.
We should have a Auto-Bailout telethon. You know, get all the multi-millionaire celebrities like Madonna, Oprah, George Clooney, Miley Cyrus to tell us how giving heals the heart and every dollar makes a difference.
Maybe Ellen DeGenerate can donate another $100,000 and dare everyone to match her?
Pig-I have a feeling the celebs you mentioned would have the opinion that that wouldn’t be a worthy cause. Frankly, I don’t either.
Wait, did you call her “DeGenerate”? Wow, I bet she never heard that one before.
C’mon Ricolah…those celebs are always looking for pub and the illusion of being public service whores. They care about the little guys and the pee-ons. If they don’t take care of us, who else will go out and pay $18.00 to see a 90 minute movie of theirs. If they don’t support the blue collars…how will they afford their BMW’s, Jaguars and Benzes?
And yes, I did call her Degenerate and YES, I’m sure she’s heard that one before. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and predict that she’ll hear it again.
FP, I’m one step ahead of you. I went ahead and set up an Auto-Bailout fundraiser called Blog-Aid. Several celebs including Paris Hilton, Bill Cosby, Bobcat Goldthwait, & Bill Nye the Science Guy have agreed to perform at the event…and we’ve already received about $5000 in donations. Unfortunately, each of the celebs charge up the ass for an appearance…so we’re about $300,000 in the red.
I’m writing a bailout request for my bailout fundraiser right now.
And Morisato is in the lead for the bidding war. Enron stock certificates will be accepted, as they can be sold as oddball collector’s items. Much like Ricko’s Marinovich collection, and Miracle’s T.J. Hooker Commemorative Plate Set.
Miracle has T.J. Hooker Commemorative Plates!? Where do I bid for those?
I guess it’s easy to generalize and criticize with a broad stroke, FP. Fact of the matter is, they can afford the Beemers, Jags, and Benzes because they’re successful. I believe it’s a direct result of something called free enterprise. I have no beef because I rarely see a movie these days.
I have the T.J. Hooker Commemorative Plates and “The Fall Guy” flatware.
The Heather Thomas salad fork works like one of those magic girlie pens. And there’s a special guest star spoon of Markie Post(awesome hair)
That unregistered pistol is mine!
I must have that pistol. It would complete my collection which includes OJ’s steak knife set, some of Brett Meyers’ wife’s teeth, and Carrot Top’s plastic surgeon’s mug shot.
That Fall Guy flatware would go great with my B.A. Baracus punch bowl.
If I had a Heather Thomas salad fork and Markie Post spoon, I’d wash them every day and stack them 69 in the silverware drawer.
Heather Thomas and Markie Post. 69. (growling like a redneck under my breath).
Pretty ironic. Literally last night I was telling my son about Markie Post. I kept it pretty clean. (I also omitted my pet nickname for her . . . “Barkie”. )
By the way, since we’re all trying do a little creative financing in order to acquire the pistol, is my white Matchbox Ford Bronco worth anything?
For the right price, my Tony Mandarich commerative bobblesyringe can also be had.
What’s the highest bid? I’ll go $1 over **and** include an autographed picture of Tony Danza. I assume that this will bring the auction to a close, and you can ship the product to me at any time.
If you don’t like the Danza picture, I’ll pay you with a drawing of a spider:
http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html